Mr. Wong

I'm sure everyone reading this has received an email where someone you've never met or ever even heard of before has claimed that they needed your help to get large sums of money out of a bank account or some other ridiculous scheme that involves you being the beneficiary of a substantial amount of money for doing absolutely nothing. These are called 419 Scams named after the section of the Nigerian criminal code that it violates. These are very common and have been going on for many years, in various forms. They originate in alot of different countries, but it's mostly associated with Nigeria where the government has a reputation of not pursuing the scammers or prosecuting them. It's literally a billion dollar a year business. The following emails were exchanged between me and one of these scammers. The emails and any photographs attached have not been edited at all. These are exactly the way that they were received and sent. Anything you read in [ red letters ] is me writing directly to you and was not included in the email. I've summarized some of their emails so that you won't have to read through all of them. Enjoy!

[ this was their first contact with me. it's a pretty long read so here's the sum of it; his name is joseph wong. he works for a bank in japan and a wealthy client of his  has died and has no next of kin. he wants me to pose as a relative of the dead  customer so that he can transfer $40,500,000.00 to my name. Afterwards I'd get to keep 30% ] 10/17/2006 3:24:46 P.M. Eastern Standard Time From: mrwong_001   BANK OF AMERICA (ASIA) LTD. 17/F DEVCON HOUSE 979 KING'S ROAD HONG KONG.     Dear Friend,   I am Joseph Wong, credit officer of Bank of America (Asia) Ltd, Hong Kong.   I have an urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.   On October 6, 2001, an American Engineer/Consultant with the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation, Mr. Mr. Steinmetz Horst made a (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$40,500,000.00 (Forty Million  Five Hundred thousand United State Dollars only) in my branch.   Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Hong Kong Solid Minerals Corporation that Mr. Mr. Steinmetz Horst died from a recurrent heart disease.   On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a will and all attempts to trace his next of kin were fruitless.   I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Mr. Steinmetz Horst did not declare any next of kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank.   This sum of US$40,500,000.00 is still lingering in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it.   According to the Hong Kong Law, under china's foreign and defense affairs, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, such funds will revert to the ownership of the Chinese Government for financing military operations, such as purchasing of arms and ammunitions for the military.   In order to avert this negative development, I will like to seek for your permission as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Mr. Mr. Steinmetz Horst so that the fruits of this old man's labor will not be use for financing weapons which will further enhance the courses of war in the world in general.   The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 30% for you and 10% for Expenses Incurred in the course of the transaction. There is no risk at all as all the paperwork  for this project will be done by my Attorney and with my position as the credit officer guarantees the successful execution of this project. If you are interested, please reply immediately.   Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and that will help you understand the transaction.   You should observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this project would be most profitable for both parties because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.   Kindly send your response to my private email account mrwong_002@yahoo.com.hk   Awaiting your urgent reply.   Thanks and regards.   Mr. Joseph Wong    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/18/2006 6:50:29 P.M. Eastern Standard Time From: me i am very interested in helping you secure these funds. i was just telling the lovely young tramp that i am currently settling for that i wish i could find a way to be able to tell my bosses i hope they perish miserably and quit my job and lo and behold the answer to my prayers comes in the form of an email from you mr dong. yes please tell me how you can swindle me so that i may help you procure the necessary funds. i look very forward to receiving your response. thank you, juan tanamera  [ im already calling him by the wrong name and i flat out mention that i know that hes trying to swindle me. and in case you missed it, my fucking name is juan tanamera. ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ in this email he tells me that he needs a photo ID of me and some contact info so that he can verify that im for real and then we can proceed with the transaction. he even includes a photocopy of the deceased millionaires bank info and his business card which has his picture on it. i cant quite place him but he resembles an actor from one of those crappy kung fu movies. you know the ones where they dubbed english over the audio and their lips dont move when theyre talking. i almost lost it when i read the words "Dear Juan".] 10/18/2006 11:37:52 P.M. Eastern Standard Time From: mrwong_001 Dear Juan, Thank you very much for your response, and your interest in this transaction. It became necessary for me to seek your assistance;  I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project, and also to help me in investing my money in your country. You should not have anything to worry about. I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly, it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that, it needs your commitment and diligent follow up. If you work seriously, the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days. READ THE FOLLOWING AND GET BACK TO ME: Firstly, I will want to know the type of occupation that you do and how old you are. You should note that this project is highly capital intensive. This is why I have to be very careful. I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not met before, but I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project. I am now in contact with a foreign online bank. I now intend that you open an account in your name in this foreign bank. The money would be transferred to your account which you will open in the bank for both of us, this is the best way, I have found, it will protect us from my bank. I want us to enjoy this money in peace when we conclude. So you should listen to my instructions and follow them religiously. Also you have to know that I cannot transfer this money in my name as my bank will be aware that it is from me. This is where I need you. As result of this, you will have to open an account in the corresponding bank. I will obtain a certificate of deposit from this my bank; it will be issued in your name. This will make you the bonafide owner of the funds. After this, the money will be banked online for both of us. We can then instruct the bank to transfer our various shares into our respective home bank accounts. I will also perfect the documentations with the assistance of my attorney to give the transaction the legal right. To buttress the legitimacy of the funds release, all legal documentation, processing filling and issuance of approvals is being handled by a Lawyer whom is based here and is an authority in international transactions. We do intend to bring all aspects of the Project within the realms of all laid down procedures as obtained in inheritance payment transfer, thus giving the Project and the transfer itself all legitimacy needed and ensuring total consistency with all legalistic requirements. It is important for us to ascertain definitely, the enjoyment of the funds with absolute peace of mind after the transfer. To this effect, all modalities have therefore been put in place, to immediately retrieve and destroy all documents relating to the funds release, immediately after the transfer has been made. The Lawyer is totally and must remain totally ignorant of the true nature of the transaction as long as you have the entire legal claim to the funds. Before I commence, I will need you to send me a copy of any form your identification (Driver's license or International passport) and your current address. I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person. As soon as I get these from you, I will commence the paper work. Please reconfirm details below: (i) Name of Beneficiary (ii) Beneficiary's Address. (iii) Contact Telephone and Fax numbers I hope you will understand why I need all these. The money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project. I will also send you my international passport upon receipt of your identification. I will send the name and contact details of the bank and their website to you so that you can commence communication with them. Ensure that you keep this project confidential; do not discuss it with anybody, because of the confidential nature of this transaction and my work. Find attached enclose in this mail a copy of the certificate of deposit of the fund and my work identity. Regards, Mr. Joseph Wong. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ i changed his name again and this time I made him a doctor. ] 10/19/2006 4:41:21 P.M. Eastern Standard Time From: me hey dr wing i understand why you want to know who youre working with. this is a lot of money and i wont lie, im already thinking of ways to fleece you so that i can cut you out of the loop. here is a copy of my drivers license. i dont have a passport. it was revoked because im on one of those no fly lists. i swear you proposition one flight attendant for a little head and they make it a capital crime. i couldn't help myself, fellatio relaxes me when i fly and he was really nice. anyways dont try and change the subject, back to my money. when will you send me my check? make sure you spell my name properly sir, J U A N   T A N A M E R A, im baptist in case you were curious. thanks so much for this opportunity, youre a gentleman and a clip artist. let me know what i need to do next, i understand that time is an issue and im eager to lead you on further.  thank you, juanito [ i thought for sure I went too far with this picture. How the hell can he not know that this is Larry from the Three Stooges? Not to mention that my address is really the white houses address. I thought that the seal on half of larrys picture was a nice touch. ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ even i was shocked that i got a reply after my last email ] 10/23/2006 11:43:02 P.M. Eastern Standard Time From: mrwong_001 Dear Juan, I have received your email and all its contents were properly noted by me. Please note that no cheque transactions can be done because of the nature of this project. At this juncture there will be need for you to set-up an offshore transit account with our affiliate bank in europe where the fund will be transferred into. More so you should understand that a direct transfer of this funds can not be made to your home account in your country directly because of the volume. So its prefarable you follow my designed plans in other for us to achieve our set goals and also avoid the alert of the hong kong financial authorities. Please understand with me and acknowledge receipt of this email. Thanks Mr. J Wong  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ keeping with my previous emails, i again changed his name ] 10/24/2006 10:43:02 P.M. Eastern Standard Time From: me hello dr ding i am glad i was able to provide you with all the necessary documentation so that we may proceed with this debacle. i understand that you cant send a check or do the transaction to a bank here bacause theyre likely to press charges in my country for the tom-foolery that youre attempting. please tell me what i must do next. im very anxious to get my hands on that money so that i can get my penile implant. they have a new procedure that adds 4 inches to your penis, i know what you're thinking, what am i going to do with a 6 inch penis, but thats my business. ill do what i want with my half of the money and i wont question you on what you do with your half. me (and im sure all my friends that are reading this now) are anxiously awaiting your next response, thank you, juancho! ps- theres a chinaman that works at the laundromat by my house, his name is chu, are you related? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ a few days went by and i hadnt heard from him so i wrote again thinking (hoping) that maybe he didnt receive my previous email ] 10/30/2006 12:08:54 A.M. Eastern Standard Time From: me mr chong i have not heard back from you and im a little upset. i sent you my ID in good confidence. are you out there right now showing it off and pretending its you? come on, seriously, i need that money. i went out and bought a boat, a new car and paid a hooker with a check that's gonna bounce if you dont hurry up and send me my cash. whats the delay ya prick? tell me what we gotta do next so that i can get my hands on that dough. thanks, juan tanamera (kerefo) juan tanamera  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ at this point im pretty sure he either caught on that i was fucking with him and hes moved on to easier prey or hes dead. im not sure which id prefer ] 11/8/2006 6:22:04 A.M. Eastern Standard Time From: me well well well wang did you really think youd get away with it? what, did you think i wasn't going to find out? HUH? well i did. i cant believe you would send someone else that i know a similar email proposing that you do business with them now. sure you changed your name, and the dollar amount, and how you came across this money, and what country youre from. but i know its still you. to quote harrison ford talking to luke skywalker in the first star wars, "fredo youre my brother and i love you. but dont ever take sides with anyone against the family again. ever." well that would make you fredo and me chewbacca. i cant believe this. im not gonna just let this go. if this deal goes through i still get my half. you and him can split the other half i dont care but i need that money so that i can quit my job and just walk around the country and help people out of jams like that guy in the show kung fu or maybe ill grow a mustache, buy a ferrari and move to hawaii and solve crimes as my african american friend flies around in a helicopter. it doesn't matter what i do, its my money and i swear on my family name that no one takes money from a tanamera! send me my check asap! youre on notice, juan (too many) [ if you receive one of these emails i dont recommend that you try and get cute with these people. theyre criminals and they are very dangerous. ]